In reflecting on the current state of our digital landscape, one thing I find profoundly problematic is our primitive and rather naive approach to relationship tracking and management. We're almost universally reliant on the built-in, predetermined systems provided by tech giants like Apple and Google, or on social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram. But these platforms confine us, they limit our access, and most importantly, they dictate the ownership of our personal networks - networks we do not truly own under the Web 2 social media frameworks.
We are, essentially, prisoners to these systems.
The vision I hold for personal relationship management is one of permanence, legibility, and utility. I want a system that maps the information in my relational network, capturing the nuances of trust, inspiration, and connection. This system should also extend beyond just people, including books, places, values - elements that shape who I am and who I aspire to be. Our identities go beyond the content we passively consume online when killing time. Our identities are a reflection of our beliefs, our role models, our interactions, and our inspirations.
My ideal digital system would serve as a memory bank for inspiring meetings, a reservoir of knowledge capable of prompting me for action with valuable context. It would offer me a lens to review my past and run significant queries, such as: "Who have I met most in the last six months?" or “What is different about who I have increasingly been spending time with over the past three years?” It should also offer me a tool for mindful tracking of my relationships, allowing me to stay informed about what others are doing and maintain regular contact.
Privacy and control over my content and interactions is another essential feature. I want the ability to post content viewable only by those I trust, to ask for help from specific people, and to give lasting shout outs to those who've made valuable contributions to my life. I yearn for a system where recognition is reciprocal, where small but meaningful interactions carry weight and contribute to a more nuanced reputation beyond college degrees or high-profile awards.
One of the most critical aspects of this relationship manager is the ability to sift through and act on the data related to my identity and relationships. In other words, I want my system to be smart; Smart enough to employ AI that will help me improve my relationships, help me grow as a person, and allow me to become an active agent in my life.
If we continue only using simplistic tools like Google Contacts, Apple Contacts, Twitter, LinkedIn, and the like, we do ourselves a disservice. We limit our growth, hinder our potential, and reduce ourselves to passive consumers rather than active, goal-oriented beings. That is not the future I want, and I believe we can do better.
We can build a future where relationship management is intelligent, personalized, and most importantly, ours.