Today I talked to my friend Chris about something that I think we often take for granted: self-reliance. The idea of standing on your own two feet, being your own best friend, parent, coach, disciplinarian, and cheerleader.
Don't get me wrong, having good friends is a beautiful privilege. Being able to talk openly, discuss a wide variety of topics, and be vulnerable with someone is a gift. But the more Chris and I talk about it, the more I realize that perhaps friends should be seen as a bonus rather than a necessity.
Here's why: If I can't get my own stuff together, if I can't figure things out on my own, then what am I really achieving? Becoming too dependent on friends can lead to resentment, and it can even undermine my own sense of self-worth, especially as a man.
It's a tough realization, but it's one that I think is essential for growth. Friends should never be something that I "need" in a way that makes me dependent on them. That's not fair to them or to myself.
The responsibility to grow, to learn, to develop - that's on me. It's on my shoulders alone. Friends can be there to support, encourage, and share in the journey, but they shouldn't be the crutch I lean on. They are a bonus, a beautiful addition to a life that I must shape for myself.
It's an empowering thought, really. Recognizing that I have the power and the ability to be self-reliant, to guide myself through life's ups and downs. It's a sense of control and confidence that I'm building, with the understanding that my friends are a wonderful part of my life but not the core of it.
This perspective has not only helped me grow as an individual but also enriched my friendships. It creates a balance, a healthy boundary that allows both parties to flourish without feeling burdened. And in the end, that's what true friendship should be about.