The realization came to me not without struggle: we must live life on our terms, not through the lens of our parents' expectations. I think the sooner we grasp this truth, the better we become at aligning our actions with our own core values and goals.
Making your parents happy is a noble cause, but it can't be the primary thing to optimize for as we get older. You see, our own success metrics go far beyond making our parents happy, and we have enough to worry about in our pursuit of growth, evolution, and fulfillment.
If we're growing, if we're evolving, our values and skills will change with us. Our careers might shift, our views will mature, and any artificially concrete plan that we might give to our parents is destined not to be followed through on. That's not something to be afraid of; it's part of being authentic to ourselves.
For some, like many Asian parents, they want concrete promises. A fixed career path like becoming a doctor, a stable home, a precise plan for family and grandkids. But if we can't honestly make those promises, we mustn't pretend that we can. I should have understood this earlier; I did understand, but not until I was 30. It's still better late than never, and I'm sincerely glad that I did.
Living life on my terms hasn't been a clear-cut path. Regardless of the pressure from my parents, I haven't always been certain about what I should be doing.
But what's essential is the courage to take a leap of faith and do what feels right for me, not what's mediated by my parents' expectations. Otherwise, we run the risk of living life half-heartedly, always compromising, never truly stable or free. It's a situation where no one ends up happy.
That's why I believe it's crucial to explore, to discover our own path, and to find the courage to walk it. By doing so, we not only honor ourselves but also create a life that's true to who we are, not merely a reflection of others' desires or expectations.
And that's the essence of what I've learned: choosing my life, not letting my parents' expectations choose it. It's a lesson in authenticity, courage, and faith, one that has empowered me to live life more fully and meaningfully.