The concept of attentional consent is a key component of good communication. Here's a simple, step-by-step guide on how to ensure you're respecting others' attentional consent in both in-person and digital conversations, as well as on social media.
What is Attentional Consent?
First, let's define attentional consent. This term refers to the idea that each person's attention is finite and precious. Therefore, it should only be directed towards what the person willingly and voluntarily chooses. Respecting attentional consent means acknowledging and honoring each person's control over their own attention, rather than forcibly steering it towards your interests or insights.
Step 1: Understand and Respect The Limits of Attention
Recognize that everyone has limited attention, pulled in multiple directions by various demands. It's crucial to respect this fact and let individuals direct their own attention. Avoid dominating conversations or flooding others with unsolicited information.
Step 2: Monitor Your Communication
During conversations, stay mindful of the other person's interest and attention level. If you notice signs of disinterest, or if you find yourself talking at length without being prompted, it might be time to pause and re-evaluate. Ask yourself, "Am I going on too long? Was I asked to talk about this topic?"
Step 3: Prioritize Consent in Sharing Insights
Even if you believe your insights are valuable and needed, it's important to wait for the right moment to share them. Unless the other person voluntarily asks you about the topic, you might be infringing on their attentional consent by sharing unsolicited information.
Step 4: Apply Attentional Consent to Social Media
Attentional consent extends beyond one-on-one conversations and into the realm of social media. When someone follows you, it's important to remember that they've given you access to their attention. Avoid posting content that could unnecessarily agitate or upset your followers. Be mindful of the ideas, information, and vibes you're sharing.
Step 5: Understand The Consequences of Violating Attentional Consent
When attentional consent is violated, it can cause mental and emotional disruption, ranging from a minor irritation to a significant upset that could affect someone's entire day. Respecting attentional consent is beneficial to both you and the person you're communicating with.
Step 6: Foster a Consensual Conversation Culture
Make your conversations an 'opt-in' experience, where both parties have the ability to guide the discussion and share their insights. Avoid imposing yourself too much, and strive to create a balanced, consensual exchange of ideas.
Remember, communication is a dance. And just like in dancing, respecting your partner's pace and space leads to a more enjoyable and fruitful experience for both.